Don't get me wrong I am greatful for my life. I feel like I have oppurtunities that outweigh most people. I have a beautiful wife and daughter. I just bought a house where my cat chases my slobbering bulldog across slippery hardwood floors. I own a motorcycle. I eat lunch everyday accompanied by 16oz of sugar and caffeine. But I feel tired and worn. There is an ache in my head that won't go away. It is right on time though. Usually around the time when seasons change my life feels like it turns upside down and all the blood in my body rushes to my head. I think it has to do with the fact that at any given moment I can point out areas in my life where my own expectations were not met. This in conjunction with a change in weather and baromic pressure creates a vice that squeezes the life out of my brain and confuses the hell out of me. People around me start shooting questions such as "Jarrod, is something wrong?" "Jarrod, are you upset with me?" "Do you need to talk about something that is bothering you?". Usually this lasts for a couple of weeks until it all sorts itself out inside my own head and someone snaps a finger which creates just enough wind to wake me up and pull me out of bed.
Life gets wierd when you lose your bearings. Life gets crazy when you forget what you live for or realize what you live for is not worth the time or effort. So then you throw a big fat ball of regret right at your own face which is hard to imagine cause it doesn't seem like a task that is physically possible but it works and when it hits you it knocks you on your ass.
Does anyone have a hockey mask I can borrow?
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1 comment:
You perform better under pressure.
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